S041: My Problem With Listening
The importance of listening as an individual cannot be overemphasized as the definition of ourselves develop in our verbal interactions with others. Yet, I have caught myself not listening where I should have. In this episode, I share a few problems I have with listening and also highlighted a few things I am doing to listen better.
In this episode, you will learn about
- the problems I have with listening,
- my encounter with the book “The Lost Art of Listening” by Micheal Nicolas,
- why giving advice and encouragement to people don’t always work,
- problems other people have with listening, and
- the things I am doing to make myself a better listener.
Searching for a reply before listening
I have found this to be my greatest problem with listening. I find myself searching for a reply before even attempting to listen. And while this is no longer as bad as it use to be, I know I can listen better. This is especially difficult when you are in an argument or when I feel I am been criticized wrongly.
In this episode, I shared a couple of tricks and methods to use when I find myself in such a situation.
I don’t have the whole time in the world
For instance, I may be in a hurry to step out, only to be stopped by someone who would like to have “a word” with me. (I always wish it is literally”a word”). At that point my mind is gone from my body to where I should be. But I am realizing that that is wrong and unfair to both party.
Now, I am considering offering a more appropriate time to talk to the person. Other times, I should just ask myself if my meeting or outing is more important that the person in front of me. And in cases where I must listen, I should draw my mind back and focus on understanding what the person has to say.
Listening is not as easy as it seems, it requires effort and vulnerability. It does not imply agreement, but not listening impedes understanding. That is why you should “listen” to this episode.
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Samuel Adeoye (popularly known as “Se7en” or the “Startup Engineer”) is an entrepreneurship enthusiast and the lead podcaster at Podlobe. He is also a big fan of Manchester United.